Not Necessarily Good-bye

Today is my last day as a staffing specialist. I can’t say I’ll miss the job. There is too much interference from every other department & the owner often creates chaos where Sidney & I end up cleaning up the aftermath of the havoc she created. I’ll still be at the same company 2 days a week doing filing, so I’ll still see the same people. I don’t usually get attached to people (when I’m gone, I’m gone; I don’t look back), so I wouldn’t miss anyone except Sidney anyway (he’s like a brother to me). Yet, as I mentioned before, I will miss blogging & keeping in contact w/ my sister. However, this does not mean I will never again blog or be able to check out her & her children’s blogs from time to time. Both my parents have Internet access at their homes, so I can, from time to time, add a little more to my blog & check up on what else is going on. So it’s not “good-bye”, it’s “I’ll see you later.”
If you think of it, please pray that God will bless me with a clear head and the ability to learn my new job quickly and accurately. God has already given me the ability to learn quickly (every job I’ve ever had my trainers have always told me they were surprised with how fast I learn), but I’m still nervous, especially when a mistake could cause harm to an animal.
Anyway, it’s been nice blogging here, hopefully I’ll be back in the not too distant future. Let me leave you with this:
Numbers 6:24-26, "The LORD bless you and keep you; the LORD make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you; the LORD turn his face toward you and give you peace."

Romans 8:28

I was really hoping I would have profound thoughts to add to my blog today, but the only thing on my mind is a theme I’ve written about many times. Oh well, here it is anyway.
Romans 8:28, “We know that all things work together for good to them that love God, who have been called according to His purpose.”
I’m sure I’ve quoted this verse before as it is one of my favorites. Sometimes it is difficult for me to believe that everything happens for a reason, or works toward some kind of grand purpose. I think we sometimes try to find the reason why something had to happen in the hard times in order to comfort ourselves. If we truly believe that there was no point to a certain tragedy, then all we can feel is despair. Yet, what we must remember is that this scripture verse does not say that all things work for only our purpose. We don’t know when our situation benefits someone else’s growth even when it doesn’t benefit our life.
This theme has been in my thoughts since about April or May of last year. I realized at least some of the purpose behind the hellish situation I faced at my last job was to grow spiritually and realize that I am capable of standing up for my faith. Whether it changed anyone’s heart at all, I may never know. But then I wondered why I got hired at my present job. I am suffering financially & I don’t like the work. However, perhaps the only way I would have gotten my new job at the vet hospital was to be in my current situation where I had to be dissatisfied enough to seek out a new job. And therefore, be given my dream job. Or perhaps I’m just stretching things a bit too much. My logical mind has the need to try to piece things together so that I understand why my life goes the way it does. There are a lot of areas in my life that I haven’t seen a purpose behind. I just have to have faith and believe it will all work out, even when things seem like a gigantic mess. Once again, I am beyond grateful to God for the dream job and that all things seem to be working out, according to His purpose. I only hope I can honor Him by being a bright light at my new job and by doing my job the best I can.

Cross Stitch Photos

Here are a few pictures of the cross stitch I wrote about last week that I am working on for my dad. The completed design is an example of what it will look like. The small corner is all I have done so far, and the other photo is the complicated pattern. It is the most unusual one I have done so far. You use 2-4 strands of thread for each square and use 1-2 colors per square. It makes for a pretty effect w/ the blended colors, but for some reason takes longer to do. Also, shading around the man w/ the eagle is only a one way stitch and does not double back to make an “x.” It’s going to take a long time, but should be pretty when it’s done.

Ah yes, I Remember it Well

In Christina’s comments to my blog yesterday… Yes, I remember. I seem to recall a laughing fit from either one or both of us. “Love is never stuffed up, never puffed up, never gives up when the going’s rough. It’s the biggest little word you can say, by the way. It’s sympathy, sincerity, it’s charity, the main variety, everything that happiness is made of. And I like it best when it’s shared w/ a friend!” I can see why we got the giggles! I also remember one other song we sang (can’t remember which one) where you started crying, & I sang it all. Lots & lots of signing together memories. I still can’t hear “Heirlooms” w/o thinking of my sister, especially the word “pierced!” I also remember when I’d get offended when anyone in the congregation would laugh at any of our songs, not realizing they weren’t making fun of me, but thinking I was cute. Like the line “And I see that the dog gets fed,” used to get a chuckle. Anyway, thanks for the memories, sis!

My Two Favorite Songs

Anyone who knows me knows me, knows I do not cry very often. However, there are several songs that either choke me up or actually bring tears every time I hear them. Here are my 2 favorites.
Third Day is my favorite band. I have all their CDs & have seen them in concert twice. I loved the song “Cry out to Jesus” the first time I heard it, but it was even more emotional to see them sing it in person in a packed stadium with the crowd singing along and raising their hands to worship. The song touches on issues of loss, addiction, marriage, & homelessness (I believe the tragedy of Hurricane Katrina inspired the song). Here are some of the words, “Cry Out To Jesus,” Words by Mac Powell: “There is hope for the helpless / Rest for the weary / Love for the broken heart /There is grace and forgiveness /Mercy and healing / He'll meet you wherever you are / Cry out to Jesus, Cry out to Jesus… When you’re lonely /And it feels like the whole world is falling on you / You just reach out, you just cry out to Jesus / Cry to Jesus.” “He’ll meet you wherever you are.” That says so much. Jesus is willing to embrace us w/ open arms no matter what we are going through, where we’ve been, or what we’ve done. I cannot express enough that His love is so unconditional that we cannot even fathom the true depth of just how far it goes. No love of any human (or animal!) will ever come close to comparing to how much He loves every single person, no matter what.
The next song got me through the nightmare at the police department (part of the story was told in Oct. 17 & 18 if you need to see it). It truly kept me grounded & reminded me not to blame God, but to cling to Him. The song is “Praise You in This Storm,” sung by Casting Crowns. Here are some of those lyrics. Words by Mark Hall: “I was sure by now, God You would have reached down / And wiped our tears away, /Stepped in and saved the day / But once again, I say amen / And it's still raining / As the thunder rolls / I barely hear You whisper through the rain, / "I'm with you" /And as Your mercy falls / I raise my hands and praise / The God who gives and takes away / And I'll praise you in this storm / And I will lift my hands / For You are who You are / No matter where I am / And every tear I've cried / You hold in your hand / You never left my side / And though my heart is torn / I will praise You in this storm… I lift my eyes unto the hills / Where does my help come from? / My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth.” Even when I’m angry or confused with God (as when facing Cosette’s illness & eventual death) I found that if I literally raised my hands during this song, that I felt peace. I’m getting choked up just typing this! Anyway, it’s amazing how praising God in spite of what we are facing will bring about hope even in what feels like a hopeless situation. And I love the honesty of the line “I was sure by now, God, You would have reached down… Stepped in and saved the day.” We often expect, almost demand God to fix things now, and he doesn’t always do so, or it may take a long time. What more can I say? Such a beautiful song and message.

This is Funny (Plus a trip down memory lane!)

http://www.reverendfun.com/ This is a funny comic, especially if you've ever done bible sword drills. I remember doing them in Sunday School, and I usually did pretty well (seeing as how I memorized the orders of the books of the bible in a song when I was about 4 or 5). Which brings me to a funny story... Every once & a while my dad would preach on TV (it must have been a local station?) when we lived in Michigan. Well, one time my sister & I were asked to sing the books of the bible. Strangely enough, I got stage fright and refused to sing, so my sister elbowed me the entire time trying t get me to sing. I think we were 5 & 8 at the time. We actually sang together a lot up until she left for college. Good times!

One Dream Per Customer

Ever notice how when one thing goes right in your life, how anything feels possible? Ever since I got my dream job of working for a vet, my other dreams suddenly seem reachable as well. Maybe when I’m at the clinic I’ll meet Mr. Right, and I’ll finally get married and can start having children. But then I turn back to my logical/realistic (or call it cynical!) senses, and think that we are all only allowed one dream to come true in a life time. If so, could I then find happiness now that I have the job I’ve always wanted? To be honest, I don’t know. I don’t think any career would ever fill the void in my heart of wanting to be a wife and mother. That does not in any way mean I am not ecstatic about the new job or extremely humbled and thankful to God for the amazing gift.
So when do we quit asking for blessings? It seems selfish to ask for more. Thanks God, but now I want… It’s like in the movie “Charlie & the Chocolate Factory,” when the spoiled little girl, Veruca, finally gets the golden ticket she insists her father find for her. When he presents her w/ the ticket, she does not thank him but instead coldly looks at him and says, “Daddy, I want another pony.” Yikes! I never want to be that girl!
So here’s the funny thing, just as I was finally done w/ all the edits of my novel (thanks in part to my moms help) making the last minute changes, and only 1 step away from sending it in to be copy written (thanks to my dad for offering to pay the fee), my computer disc that I had my novel saved on, “ate” my book (the whole thing disappeared from the disc). Sorry for the run-on sentence! I only have 10 chapters saved to the computer. So here I was, one step away from the dream of having my novel not only finally finished, but also copy written. Yet now, I have to re-type roughly 300 pages. So this takes me back to my “one dream at a time” question.
I know this is really long, but I’m almost finished. I do not believe God sits in heaven keeping track of how many blessings we receive and then either says, “No more for you,” or then takes one away to balance things out. I have heard many times over & believe that God is like any other kind father: He wants us to be as happy as we can possibly be. He wants to fill our cups to overflowing. So perhaps I still have a chance of getting married & having kids & perhaps I’ll even have the chance of submitting my novel to publishers and seeing it on a book shelf some day. But even if I lose my current job and no other dreams come true, I will always trust that God has my best interest in mind.

The photo is of the 2 book covers I made (even though I’ve only written 1 chapter to book 2). On the shelf are statues of animals that represent characters in the novels.

Create in me a Clean Heart

Psalm 51:10-12 “Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me… Restore to me the joy of your salvation... “
I have one of those scripture verse card holders on my desk (I took a photo of it so you can see what it looks like). Psalm 51:10-12 was one of the verses last week. It got me to thinking what it really means to have a “clean” heart. The more I thought about it, I realized it is a perfect partner to Philippians 4:8, “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” In other words, I would say that having a clean heart would mean living a clean life not just in reality, but in your mind as well. I was going to then include the bible verse that says something like, “Whatsoever a man thinks in his heart, so is he,” but I cannot find it. However, that also fits with this run-on theme.
While living in a secular world, we are constantly bombarded with sexual & violent images. The easiest way to avoid this is to read a Christian review of a movie before seeing it and avoid the movies you know are going to be vulgar and/or violent. Another way simply involves pushing the button on your remote control to change the TV channel. I am not just preaching to the choir, I am guilty of violating Philippians 4:8. One of my favorite shows is “24.” Every episode has a disclaimer that viewer discretion is advised. I tend to change the channel when the scenes get too violent, but I then turn it back again b/c the stories are so compelling. That doesn’t make much sense, does it? Also I had a bad habit of when I went home for lunch of watching soap operas. Even if I turn away during a sex scene, I am still watching a show that promotes sex outside of marriage, and lots of it.
So for me, I went cold turkey on the soap opera issue about 3-4 weeks ago. It’s still hard to pick a good show w/o violence, especially since I am drawn to action/adventure stories. Perhaps I just need to read/write more.
Anyway, this long, drawn out column is just to remind me and any other readers, that God wants us to have a clean heart by dwelling on the pure & lovely things of this world. Only then can the rest of the verse in Psalm 51 come true, that the joy of salvation will be restored.

"Normal" Photos

Jonah is w/ me. The scrubs are too big, so I got a smaller size after I took the photo, & Jonah needs a hair cut (maybe this week?), but he still looks cute! I call him my "Chunky Monkey" (like the ice cream) b/c he's small, but solid! I love the photo of Frodo; he almost looks regal! By the way, the shelf behind me has the pet memorial frames of Gidget, Bart, Jaydee, Amara, & Cosette (they barely fit) plus some dog statues. It looks crooked in the photo, but it's not (I don't think!).

Craziness Ensued, Part 2

I hate the way my cheeks look so fat, but the camera doesn't lie. The dogs look cute though! The white dog is Kailee, the photo where the dog is on the right is Frodo & the one where the dog is on the left is Brejae'.

Craziness Ensued, Part 1

I decided to take a photo of me in my new scrubs (as you can see), but after I took that one, I went a little crazy & took a bunch of photos w/ me & my dogs. They are a little crazy, but it was fun! These photos are mostly normal, but I will post more. The dog in these photos in Jonah.

Cross Stitch Projects, Part 3

These are the pillows I made for my mom & sister. The snowmen were for my Aunt Paula this year for Christmas. And the Hanukah one was for my Mom & Frank this year (it has candles under the star and had a silver frame around the star & candles & was made w/ all metallic threads). I am also now working on a beautiful, but very complicated eagle & Indian (huge) x-stitch for my dad. I have tons of patterns at home. I obviously love stitching & they make such nice gifts (hopefully). Maybe one day I’ll actually make one for myself!

Cross Stitch Projects, Part 2

The birds are another set of printed x-stitch pillows for my mom. I have shown the stockings before where I stitched the name of each animal on the fabric and then the fabric to the stocking. The pillow was the first of 3 that I made. This one was for my Grandma.

Cross Stitch Projects, Part 1

Here are some photos of counted cross stitch projects I have done within the last 3 or so years. The fish is one I just finished last night; it's for Frank's b-day (this Sunday). As I'm trying to load the other photos not taken by my digital camera, I'm realizing that many of them are too light to see what the picture is, so I'll just load what I can. Anyway, the cats one is the first x-stitch I ever did; I gave it to my Grandma. The birds were a set of pillow cases for my mom, they were actually printed & not count cross-stitch (which I don't like to do b/c it's not challenging!)

A Good Change

I just got done speaking w/ the owner of the company (of my current job) & she decided she could offer me a part time position afterall. The woman who does the filing will take over my position, & I will do the filing 2 days a week any where from 15-20 hours. Although I was looking forward to having those 2 days off, I am more grateful to have the extra income. And as the owner said, if I hate filing (it does sound boring!) then I can simply quit again! So, God has worked it all out for His and my good again. So now I'll just need to get myslef back on my feet financially & all will be okay! It still means I'll lose my blogging site as I won;t have my own desk any more, but the extra $ is the important thing!

Made to Love

Here a re the lyrics to another song I really love. It’s one that makes me stop and remember why I’m here. As this song so greatly reminds us, we were put on this earth not to benefit us, but to glorify God and to show His love to others and honor His name. I am not here to spread the gospel of Julie Beth, but of Jesus Christ. It’s a great song to listen to when I’m feeling self-centered. It makes me feel humbled and blessed that I am here to love God and to be loved by Him! It also is a song to remind us to renew the fire in our belly. And it also reminds me of my favorite verses that I always mention, Jeremiah 29:10-12. Toby Mac is my favorite male artist (tied w/ Jeremy Camp), & I can’t wait for this album to come out next month! Hopefully these words will fill you with peace and joy!

Toby Mac - Made To Love, From the album "Portable Sounds"

The dream is fading now
I am staring at the door
I know it’s over cause my feet have hit the cold floor
Check my reflection, I ain’t feeling what I see
It’s no mystery
What ever happened to a passion I could live for?
What became of the flame that made me feel more?
And when did I forget…

Chours:
That I was made to love You
I was made to find You
I was made just for You
Made to adore You
I was made to love and be loved by You
You were here before me
You were waiting on me
And You said You’d keep me never would You leave me
I was made to love
And be loved by You

The dreams alive with my eyes open wide
Back in the ring You got me swingin’ for the grand prize
I feel the haters spittin’ vapors on my dreams
But I still believe
I ’m reachin’ out, reachin’ up, reachin’ over
I feel a breeze cover me called Jehovah
And Daddy I’m on my way…

Chorus:
Anything I would give up for You
Everything I give it all away