My Tattoo (Lone Wolf)

When I put the “Have you ever?” list on my blog on Oct. 25, I mentioned that I have a tattoo. So here’s that story… In my late 20’s I was going through a major identity crisis. I was trapped in a dead-end job (working at a college) where my co-workers were all drinkers and wanted nothing to do w/ me b/c I wouldn’t party w/ them. Also, the guy I was madly infatuated with had rejected me. I was feeling lost and I didn't know where I belonged in life. I didn’t remember exactly where or when the epiphany came to me, but one day I finally realized that my identity revolved around being alone. Just like a lone wolf, I was an outcast among my peers and I was walking through life w/o a “mate” (both themes are still prevalent in my life). I contemplated it for at least six months before I did it, but on one particularly bad day at work, I decided that was the day I would get a tattoo. I designed it myself, and chose to have one set of wolf prints tattooed on my upper right arm. Yes, it hurt like crazy & also bled a lot. The single set of tracks symbolizes that I walk through life alone.
I know that biblically tattoos are not really pleasing to God as the bible says not to cut your flesh. I do regret that I disappointed God, but honestly, I was very naïve on how tattoos were done. I thought it was a permanent ink drawn on, not carved in. Of course, I could have stopped it when it began, but I didn’t. The tattoo was very therapeutic for me, however, and I am glad I have it. Especially since the insight into my identity has proven itself true not only then but also for last 7 years. Real lone wolves usually meet up w/ another lone wolf and they start a new pack together. Maybe someday my status will change as well, but I’m done w/ tattoos either way.